Chain Emails Are Harmless And Shouldn't Be Forwarded
by Yell the Punmeister
Summary: There is a reason why Gintoki and technology don't go together. One-shot


"Let's have a computer, Gin-chan!"

Gintoki swore loudly as he almost broke the keyboard of the machine in a try to relax at his table in his favorite position. For three weeks, since they acquired this thing, he couldn't relax completely. Whenever there was no job, either Kagura would play games, or Shinpachi would calculate the bills; when he wasn't playing dating games, of course.

Reading Jump was out of the question now. He was too lazy to move onto the sofa. Well, if relaxing was out of the question, he might as well go for a walk, maybe even hit the pachinko parlor.

Gintoki stood up and stretched. Sitting normally in this chair was always uncomfortable. Rubbing his neck he started walking towards the door, but a sound from the computer made him stop. He turned slowly towards it and looked at the screen.

"Twenty new emails? Who on Earth…"

Gintoki decided to click on the glowing notification and soon regretted it. Emails consisting of "Nobu-tasu is buying some curry for tonight, please respond if you want leftovers", "How's it going, we just arrested 4 Joui members, send a message" and lots more were arriving every minute.

"How on earth did that damn Isaburo find out about this?"

Now seriously annoyed, Gintoki made a movement towards the cables to rip them off and throw everything through the window, but one email caught his attention. This one wasn't from Sasaki Isaburo. In fact, he didn't even know the recipient. All it said is that it was urgent. The curiosity made him forget about all the trouble with the machine. He decided that he should open the email and see what it is about. Maybe it's from someone in danger.

The content of the email made him froze in place.

There was a picture of a family: mother, father and three kids, one being a teenager. They were all happy and smiling. Except for the smallest child, which was around 5 years old. He was looking at something on his right.

A silhouette of something that looks like a child, with black holes instead of eyes, with unnaturally pale skin and black hair was looking at the camera from under the table.

There was a text under the picture.

"A lovely family, isn't it? The day the family took this picture, the youngest child refused to do it, stating that Yoshi would be mad. No one in the family knew what the child was talking about and they told him he must do it. After taking the picture, the father remembered that, when he was younger, he ran over a child with his car, while drunk driving. The child died instantly. His name was Yoshi. That night whole family disappeared. No one ever heard of them again.

If you don't forward this email to at least one person, Yoshi will visit you at 3AM."

Gintoki's face was getting paler and paler as he continued reading the text. After he finished reading it, he needed couple of moments to regain his thoughts again.

"Nonononononono! This isn't true. I am not scared at all."

He tried to laugh, but his laughter sounded nothing like the usual one.

"It's not like these things are true. Ghosts don't exist. This cannot scare me."

He stood up and started walking towards the door for the second time that day.

"I am going to visit the old hag now, we'll have a good laugh about this and then I am going to hit the pachinko parlor, as usual. Just ignore the message."

He stopped, then turned around and sat at the computer again.

"No. I am the mighty Shiroyasha. I made my enemies tremble with fear at the mere sound of my name. This isn't enough to scare me."

Gintoki mustered his resolve and hurried towards the door. He slipped into his boots and went out, closing the door louder than he should have.

The room was silent, except for the sound of a Justaway clock ticking the seconds slowly, but with determination. A paper fell on the floor, carried by the sudden wind of the door closing. A spider was making his trap in the corner. Maybe some unfortunate bug will get caught. It could use a nice meal now and then.

The serene silence of the room was interrupted by Gintoki bursting through the door and running towards the computer.

"Nonononononono! This. Is. Not. Real. Ghosts don't exist and this kid will not visit me at night. Come on, pull yourself together, Gin-san! How can you be scared of this? Well, in any case, better safe than sorry. But, to whom should I sent it though?"

Then a look of revelation spread on his face. Yes, that will be perfect. Maybe then, that idiot will stop bugging him. Hah! Gin-san is smart. Gin-san is the best. Mighty Shiroyasha strikes again!

With two clicks everything was over. Yoshi won't visit him at 3 o'clock in the morning, and that Isaburo won't bother him anymore. Everyone wins and Gin-san is at peace.

Gintoki was brought back to reality by a sound of something vibrating in the drawer of his table. He opened it slowly and found a mobile phone with one new message. He opened it.

"That was quite mean, Shoroyasha, but I will forgive you, since you finally decided to send me an email back. If Yoshi visits you at 3AM, send me a message and I should come to arrest him. P.S: Please don't throw this phone away. It's getting quite bothersome buying you new ones."

Now he was getting quite annoyed. Does this man ever stop? As soon as he closed the phone, it vibrated again.

"Nobu-tasu bought us ramen for dinner tonight. Send me a message if you want some."

"Ah, never mind, we left you some. Send me a message if you don't want it."

"Do you maybe know where Katsura Kotarou is? If you do, send me a message and I will immediately arrest him."

"If you do not send me a message, this bunny will die. *picture of a little bunny*"

"*picture of a little bunny dead*"

"lol, just kidding, he isn't dead. P.S: send me a message."

A sound of the glass breaking and a computer smashing on the ground disrupted the calm afternoon at the snack bar. Gintoki, panting heavily, seriously annoyed threw the phone on top of the computer pieces. Everything was silent and then he heard the old hag from bellow.

"Gintoki! You will give me the money for window repairs separately from the rent. And give me the rent!"


End file.
